Here comes the sun.

HELLOOO!A bit of hush now please, yes you In the back


.. Drum roll please.



IM STILL PREGNANT


FUCKYEAHBITCHES!

I'm exhausted, got crappy news to do with something entirely different but I'm still mega happy. I'm not out of woods yet but better. I'm back to my happy singing slightly bonkers self. Expect normal service of loopy Laura very shortly.

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right
..
Loads of love all you gorgeous people! Xxxxx

Mothers day.

The morning starts as Normal. Layla has woken at 8am, I bring her into my bed. She is cooing, I look deep into her eyes and huddle her close to my chest. I can feel her heartbeat against mine, our breathing patterns in synch with one another. I love this time together, totally oblivious of what has already occurred In the day, I cant think of bad when with the best.

This is pure love, she is love. I couldn't possibly list everything I love about her and being a mother because frankly, the list would never end, but here is just a tiny snippet.

I love..

-The way she proved me wrong when she was born at just 2lb 2oz
-When I'm feeding her, her bottle she gazes into my eyes
-How she can instantly make me happy
-Her bed head hair
-Her button nose
-Her deep blue eyes
-Her soft skin
-Her beautiful smile
-The dimple on her right side of her face
-Her chubby legs
-her perfect shaped lips
-Her two little rabbit teeth
-When she has a clip on her hair and she sees I'n the mirror and makes and ooh sound while stroking her hair
-Her everything.

She is my everything. My sole, my life. This is the first mothers day that I am a mother, if I can be half the mother mine was to all five of her children, i will be a great one. I learnt today I may be a mother again, very very soon. After an appointment with the consultant today, I learnt if things have gotten worse by Monday I will need an emergency C-section. I'm not going to lie, I'm terrified to the core. I feel numb in a way. But what will be will be, for now I'm drinking gallons of water and hoping for the best!

For all the mothers out there yis are all Ah-ma-zing! I hope you are reminded of that, not just today but everyday. For those with great mother, let her know she is amazing, not just today but everyday. Those of you who sadly don't have your living mother, remember all the great memories today, not just today but everyday.


Have a fabulous day, any positive thoughts re, babies are mucho appreciated.

Don't just survive, live life, enjoy it, embrace it. Sure couldn't it be much worse!

Love, L xxxxx

Listen to your heart.

..when he's calling for you.

It's Saturday morning, the radio is on, as always on a Saturday morning. I turned on 96fm(Neil Prendavile, anyone?) Dancing around the kitchen to Ryan Sheridan, then like they knew I was being too happy for 8 in the morning, they turn on Listen to Your Heart.

My face dropped, listening to those words, listen to your heart. The tears were flowing, mind was doing over time and I wanted to listen to my heart. But when do you need to put on your big girl knickers and realise your head is more wise than your heart in times like this, or is it. When is it ok to listen to your heart? When he's calling for you? When you're calling for him? When you're calling for each other?

Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile' My heart wants to fight this, fight for what he had, what we still have? For 10 years, D and I were we. I now have to call my house mine, not ours. I've never lived in a house as a grown up as mine, but ours.

Anytime I speak to someone about the situation(Not the Jersey Shore kind) I get asked "do you still trust him?" and I don't. I have always had trust issues with everyone, but him. Who do I trait now, The Child? She can't even speak back yet! But, I know I can learn to trust again.

As I hear Teenage Dream playing from the kitchen the memories flood back. My greatest memories have been with him, my greatest fears have been shared with him, my greatest love was shared with him. It physically hurts to think how much I love him, how much I pine for him, like a puppy missing it's owner.

I'm listening to my heart, it's telling me life will not go not without him, I'm listening to my head it's telling me life has to go n without of him. I will not made a fool of again. He is a great man, the man I knew. Not the man who lied and cheated. He bought me Curly Wurlys when I was feeling down, he changed the light bulbs without even be asked. He gave me piggy backs on walks home from a night drinking, he drove six hours to see me when I was sick. He brought a Curly Wurly. he made me the best cup of tea, I never made the the tea


.. I haven't had tea in awhile, I make a few cups a day and just look at it. If I drink it I feel I have admitted defeat and all love is lost. I don't want that. If someone makes me tea, I pour some down the sink. I know this sounds mental but it was his thing, making the tea.

Driving, wife and The Child

Well hello there! No I havn't forgotten about you(eh, stop talking to yourself Laura) it's been a busy few days, between going to England, coming home and moving I've been kept on my toes! This is going to be a ramble post, if you don't like them. Then job on!

I'm living alone now, with The Child, and The Dog. It's lonely, I feel myself going mental with the lack of human/adult conversation!

I had a widwife(i always wanted a wife!) appointment on Tuesday, not looking the greatest. Concerned about the lack of amniotic fluid, if things look worse next week I'll be kept in. Need less to say, I had a face like a slapped arse when I went home. Having twins is a tricky business, plus of previous complications it hasn't been the easiest of things to do. Really looking forward to them coming, just not too early. After having The Child at 27 weeks, it's not something I want to experience again.

I had my first driving lesson today, yes I'm learning to drive at the age of 25, Shup and leave me alone! The Child went with her daddy, and I got a call after to say she was crawling. I'm absolutely gutted after all my hard work trying to get to crawl, I spent hours on the ground, even doing baby yoga with her. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled she's crawling but he did nothing with her and I just feel this is what the future is going to be like. Missing out on milestones because my children will be with him.

Now, that's my pregnant, upset, tears streaming down my face rant. I couldn't even try to be funny. I'm going to eat my body weight in food, any food.

Lots love, L
Xxxxx

Sex in the air, rap songs and ghetto university.

Right lads and ladies. Im in England. Flight was grand, only took an hour. Highlight was when I seen a man and woman go to the bathroom, at the same time. They had just met. I love a bit of romance.

I'm in the brides house, And this is the ODDEST thing EVER. It's exactly 23:40 as I type this. Bride is asleep, other two bridesmaids are asleep. What's going on?! IM BORED!! Im supposed to be the boring pregnant one, seriously!


The bride and I have become distant over the last few months so I knew it wouldn't be all party. I don't mean it as if we have fallen out, it's just we are both different people to what we were 5 years ago. She's a great person. But we are different people.


I'll be shaking all my lumps and bump(s) tomorrow, making the most of a not so great situation and be home Tuesday before you lot have even had time to piss in Your cornflakes.

For now, I'm in the guest bedroom dancing to some shite rap music(I DONT EVEN LIKE RAP MUSIC, innit mate) because this mamma can Drooooop it like its haaaaaawt.

*Laura sings a song*



All of the lights, turn of the lights here baby, extra bright I want you to see all this. *Long pause to pee* I get that time and split that something I made it home I'm almost there. I hate to take them to that ghetto university.

*new song*

Let's flllly, fly, up up here we go, let's flllly up up here we go. Where we stop nobody knows. Baby we can stay fly like a G6 where we at? Only a few would know. I hope this works out.. Take my hand close your eeeeyeees. Now I aint never been to space before..

EVERYONE knows this, so come on, join in :)

*Drum beat* oh her eyes her eyes make the stars look like they're not shinning, her hair hair falls perfectly without her trying. She's so beautiful and I tell her everyday. I know, I know when I compliment her she won't believe me... La la la.. When I see your face there is not a thing that I would change, because (insert your name) you're amazing, just the way you are.

Now I'm off to regain calmness, itch my stomach and empty my bladder.

Mwaaaaah, L. Xxxx

Cheap cheap!

As the money is getting smaller, I'm getting bigger. Pennys is my best friend, it's great for cheap and cheery clothes and accessories alike. Now, I do think its very important to spend that extra on good quality clothes that you will wear for years but for a quick fix Pennys is your only man

Here's a few stuff I picked up over the last two weeks. Very small, as I'm becoming more wise my my money with two babies on the way. Plus, anyone from Cork will know how crowded it gets in City pennys, not to mention nearly being killing and trampled by buggys!

You gotta have cake cake cake..

I had a wild night last night! At 11pm I found myself sitting in my bed rocking to George Michael. I then looked down, seen this massive stomach, looked over to the sleeping baby and realised.. I'm that woman!

..and I kind of like it. Who knew this wild child would turn into the bed rocking, Goerge Michael, baby popping woman?!

To carry on the theme of non fussy but tasty, here is a yummy Madeira cake.