HELLOOO!A bit of hush now please, yes you In the back
.. Drum roll please.
IM STILL PREGNANT
FUCKYEAHBITCHES!
I'm exhausted, got crappy news to do with something entirely different but I'm still mega happy. I'm not out of woods yet but better. I'm back to my happy singing slightly bonkers self. Expect normal service of loopy Laura very shortly.
Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right
..
Loads of love all you gorgeous people! Xxxxx
Tuesday 5 April 2011
Saturday 2 April 2011
Mothers day.
The morning starts as Normal. Layla has woken at 8am, I bring her into my bed. She is cooing, I look deep into her eyes and huddle her close to my chest. I can feel her heartbeat against mine, our breathing patterns in synch with one another. I love this time together, totally oblivious of what has already occurred In the day, I cant think of bad when with the best.
This is pure love, she is love. I couldn't possibly list everything I love about her and being a mother because frankly, the list would never end, but here is just a tiny snippet.
I love..
-The way she proved me wrong when she was born at just 2lb 2oz
-When I'm feeding her, her bottle she gazes into my eyes
-How she can instantly make me happy
-Her bed head hair
-Her button nose
-Her deep blue eyes
-Her soft skin
-Her beautiful smile
-The dimple on her right side of her face
-Her chubby legs
-her perfect shaped lips
-Her two little rabbit teeth
-When she has a clip on her hair and she sees I'n the mirror and makes and ooh sound while stroking her hair
-Her everything.
She is my everything. My sole, my life. This is the first mothers day that I am a mother, if I can be half the mother mine was to all five of her children, i will be a great one. I learnt today I may be a mother again, very very soon. After an appointment with the consultant today, I learnt if things have gotten worse by Monday I will need an emergency C-section. I'm not going to lie, I'm terrified to the core. I feel numb in a way. But what will be will be, for now I'm drinking gallons of water and hoping for the best!
For all the mothers out there yis are all Ah-ma-zing! I hope you are reminded of that, not just today but everyday. For those with great mother, let her know she is amazing, not just today but everyday. Those of you who sadly don't have your living mother, remember all the great memories today, not just today but everyday.
Have a fabulous day, any positive thoughts re, babies are mucho appreciated.
Don't just survive, live life, enjoy it, embrace it. Sure couldn't it be much worse!
Love, L xxxxx
This is pure love, she is love. I couldn't possibly list everything I love about her and being a mother because frankly, the list would never end, but here is just a tiny snippet.
I love..
-The way she proved me wrong when she was born at just 2lb 2oz
-When I'm feeding her, her bottle she gazes into my eyes
-How she can instantly make me happy
-Her bed head hair
-Her button nose
-Her deep blue eyes
-Her soft skin
-Her beautiful smile
-The dimple on her right side of her face
-Her chubby legs
-her perfect shaped lips
-Her two little rabbit teeth
-When she has a clip on her hair and she sees I'n the mirror and makes and ooh sound while stroking her hair
-Her everything.
She is my everything. My sole, my life. This is the first mothers day that I am a mother, if I can be half the mother mine was to all five of her children, i will be a great one. I learnt today I may be a mother again, very very soon. After an appointment with the consultant today, I learnt if things have gotten worse by Monday I will need an emergency C-section. I'm not going to lie, I'm terrified to the core. I feel numb in a way. But what will be will be, for now I'm drinking gallons of water and hoping for the best!
For all the mothers out there yis are all Ah-ma-zing! I hope you are reminded of that, not just today but everyday. For those with great mother, let her know she is amazing, not just today but everyday. Those of you who sadly don't have your living mother, remember all the great memories today, not just today but everyday.
Have a fabulous day, any positive thoughts re, babies are mucho appreciated.
Don't just survive, live life, enjoy it, embrace it. Sure couldn't it be much worse!
Love, L xxxxx
Listen to your heart.
..when he's calling for you.
It's Saturday morning, the radio is on, as always on a Saturday morning. I turned on 96fm(Neil Prendavile, anyone?) Dancing around the kitchen to Ryan Sheridan, then like they knew I was being too happy for 8 in the morning, they turn on Listen to Your Heart.
My face dropped, listening to those words, listen to your heart. The tears were flowing, mind was doing over time and I wanted to listen to my heart. But when do you need to put on your big girl knickers and realise your head is more wise than your heart in times like this, or is it. When is it ok to listen to your heart? When he's calling for you? When you're calling for him? When you're calling for each other?
Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile' My heart wants to fight this, fight for what he had, what we still have? For 10 years, D and I were we. I now have to call my house mine, not ours. I've never lived in a house as a grown up as mine, but ours.
Anytime I speak to someone about the situation(Not the Jersey Shore kind) I get asked "do you still trust him?" and I don't. I have always had trust issues with everyone, but him. Who do I trait now, The Child? She can't even speak back yet! But, I know I can learn to trust again.
As I hear Teenage Dream playing from the kitchen the memories flood back. My greatest memories have been with him, my greatest fears have been shared with him, my greatest love was shared with him. It physically hurts to think how much I love him, how much I pine for him, like a puppy missing it's owner.
I'm listening to my heart, it's telling me life will not go not without him, I'm listening to my head it's telling me life has to go n without of him. I will not made a fool of again. He is a great man, the man I knew. Not the man who lied and cheated. He bought me Curly Wurlys when I was feeling down, he changed the light bulbs without even be asked. He gave me piggy backs on walks home from a night drinking, he drove six hours to see me when I was sick. He brought a Curly Wurly. he made me the best cup of tea, I never made the the tea
.. I haven't had tea in awhile, I make a few cups a day and just look at it. If I drink it I feel I have admitted defeat and all love is lost. I don't want that. If someone makes me tea, I pour some down the sink. I know this sounds mental but it was his thing, making the tea.
It's Saturday morning, the radio is on, as always on a Saturday morning. I turned on 96fm(Neil Prendavile, anyone?) Dancing around the kitchen to Ryan Sheridan, then like they knew I was being too happy for 8 in the morning, they turn on Listen to Your Heart.
My face dropped, listening to those words, listen to your heart. The tears were flowing, mind was doing over time and I wanted to listen to my heart. But when do you need to put on your big girl knickers and realise your head is more wise than your heart in times like this, or is it. When is it ok to listen to your heart? When he's calling for you? When you're calling for him? When you're calling for each other?
Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile' My heart wants to fight this, fight for what he had, what we still have? For 10 years, D and I were we. I now have to call my house mine, not ours. I've never lived in a house as a grown up as mine, but ours.
Anytime I speak to someone about the situation(Not the Jersey Shore kind) I get asked "do you still trust him?" and I don't. I have always had trust issues with everyone, but him. Who do I trait now, The Child? She can't even speak back yet! But, I know I can learn to trust again.
As I hear Teenage Dream playing from the kitchen the memories flood back. My greatest memories have been with him, my greatest fears have been shared with him, my greatest love was shared with him. It physically hurts to think how much I love him, how much I pine for him, like a puppy missing it's owner.
I'm listening to my heart, it's telling me life will not go not without him, I'm listening to my head it's telling me life has to go n without of him. I will not made a fool of again. He is a great man, the man I knew. Not the man who lied and cheated. He bought me Curly Wurlys when I was feeling down, he changed the light bulbs without even be asked. He gave me piggy backs on walks home from a night drinking, he drove six hours to see me when I was sick. He brought a Curly Wurly. he made me the best cup of tea, I never made the the tea
.. I haven't had tea in awhile, I make a few cups a day and just look at it. If I drink it I feel I have admitted defeat and all love is lost. I don't want that. If someone makes me tea, I pour some down the sink. I know this sounds mental but it was his thing, making the tea.
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