Mothers day.

The morning starts as Normal. Layla has woken at 8am, I bring her into my bed. She is cooing, I look deep into her eyes and huddle her close to my chest. I can feel her heartbeat against mine, our breathing patterns in synch with one another. I love this time together, totally oblivious of what has already occurred In the day, I cant think of bad when with the best.

This is pure love, she is love. I couldn't possibly list everything I love about her and being a mother because frankly, the list would never end, but here is just a tiny snippet.

I love..

-The way she proved me wrong when she was born at just 2lb 2oz
-When I'm feeding her, her bottle she gazes into my eyes
-How she can instantly make me happy
-Her bed head hair
-Her button nose
-Her deep blue eyes
-Her soft skin
-Her beautiful smile
-The dimple on her right side of her face
-Her chubby legs
-her perfect shaped lips
-Her two little rabbit teeth
-When she has a clip on her hair and she sees I'n the mirror and makes and ooh sound while stroking her hair
-Her everything.

She is my everything. My sole, my life. This is the first mothers day that I am a mother, if I can be half the mother mine was to all five of her children, i will be a great one. I learnt today I may be a mother again, very very soon. After an appointment with the consultant today, I learnt if things have gotten worse by Monday I will need an emergency C-section. I'm not going to lie, I'm terrified to the core. I feel numb in a way. But what will be will be, for now I'm drinking gallons of water and hoping for the best!

For all the mothers out there yis are all Ah-ma-zing! I hope you are reminded of that, not just today but everyday. For those with great mother, let her know she is amazing, not just today but everyday. Those of you who sadly don't have your living mother, remember all the great memories today, not just today but everyday.


Have a fabulous day, any positive thoughts re, babies are mucho appreciated.

Don't just survive, live life, enjoy it, embrace it. Sure couldn't it be much worse!

Love, L xxxxx

Driving, wife and The Child

Well hello there! No I havn't forgotten about you(eh, stop talking to yourself Laura) it's been a busy few days, between going to England, coming home and moving I've been kept on my toes! This is going to be a ramble post, if you don't like them. Then job on!

I'm living alone now, with The Child, and The Dog. It's lonely, I feel myself going mental with the lack of human/adult conversation!

I had a widwife(i always wanted a wife!) appointment on Tuesday, not looking the greatest. Concerned about the lack of amniotic fluid, if things look worse next week I'll be kept in. Need less to say, I had a face like a slapped arse when I went home. Having twins is a tricky business, plus of previous complications it hasn't been the easiest of things to do. Really looking forward to them coming, just not too early. After having The Child at 27 weeks, it's not something I want to experience again.

I had my first driving lesson today, yes I'm learning to drive at the age of 25, Shup and leave me alone! The Child went with her daddy, and I got a call after to say she was crawling. I'm absolutely gutted after all my hard work trying to get to crawl, I spent hours on the ground, even doing baby yoga with her. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled she's crawling but he did nothing with her and I just feel this is what the future is going to be like. Missing out on milestones because my children will be with him.

Now, that's my pregnant, upset, tears streaming down my face rant. I couldn't even try to be funny. I'm going to eat my body weight in food, any food.

Lots love, L
Xxxxx